#gang i cant think of anything im gonna be real

[minimumwagesoul]

Dalv (undertale yellow) hitting his funny bone on a doorframe/desk and disintegrating

[woolydemon]

let me be insane for a moment, is that ok (thinks abt Scooby Doo/Ace Attorney crossover)

[ehh-is-the-name]

Watching ii-17 right before bed was a mistake

So gang I'm crying.

You know the drill, bad spoilers under the cut.

Im gonna try to go in order..? Maybe I don't know. I'm so serious when I say I've lost the will to live. They pulled the plug and it's all gone. Show's over.

I'll try to relight my inner flame and have more energy as I go through the ep piece by piece, but please understand I am literally crying while I write all this.

Starting strong

Knife just doing what we wish we could </3

This is gonna be Cobs and Mephone centric- ok. You already know I'm a Meeple head and this actually is gonna torment me forever and ever and things are never going to be ok ever again, I can't belive this is actually the end guys I'm spiralling hel-

Did I ever say how much I hate this cob of corn?

I don't even have the energy to explain the parallels here, if you've been watching you get it. You know how this corn shucker is. The "Don't talk to them like that" being a response 'cause that's how he's always been talked down to.... the generational abuse did stop at this ep I guess. Not how we wanted tho.

Actually heartbreaking- like that whole thing. I'm glad he got out of the closet and tried to help but... I'm so sorry y'all all I see is the grass field with him sitting in it and I can;t stop thinking about it. He can't go back. He can't- It's supposed to get better for him. things are supposed ot be ok. they were all supposed to be fine I don't know why it's like this I cna't belive this is how it's ending. I know there might be more but also the possibility there;s not is overwhelming I don't i cant-

IS THE PHENOMES A SLUR FOR THE SHIMMERS???

I got into convo with a friend over this, but think about it. Cobs is literally known as their oppressor, and "the phenomes" is "what he always calls them", even though they so clearly go by the shimmers, and he DEFINITELY knows that by now.

Same friend I was arguing with was telling me that:

The word “phenom” means something/someone with a really talented skill. Perhaps this slur means something like real useful tool or something

Which, if their name to Cobs is specifically about being a tool of his then... idk man. Sounds kinda derogatory to me! Though I think anything this cob of corn says sounds derogatory to me. I keep trying to not just be a cob hater, but guys I think I'm a little justified in blind hatred now. I mean come on-

He litterally does this, and then practically begs Mephone to scream and cry and explode and-

Like is that not evil behaviour? Is that not behaviour justifying this reaction?

When I say this show makes me crazy- AOUGHGh.

On a different note before I get into the ending. I was telling this friend that like... just look at this frame

Like he actually looks insane. Like think about it y'all. Years poured into this and he's laughing to himself as he tries to make two "fake" people fight to the death. His glasses are broken, he's up on some abraham lincoln ass booth watching this all go down with a crazed smile. This man has gone inanimate insane. Inanimate insanity has made this man insane.

.

...

.

I would also like to say before I get into the next part, I have such a visceral reaction to this because mephone is was my hope (cringe and sad I know), but quite literally me but with mephone himself

He gave me hope for a future but I fucking guess not </3

The fear in Mephone's eyes as Cobs just so plainly says to come along, like everything wasn't just shattered.

I've seen people say it's like a kid being told to pack it up and start heading home, but it's more than that. God. Please tell me you see it's more than that. This guy ran away from a terrible situation, tried to cope with the trauma (not in a healthy way but still tried) and his abuser's bringing him right back home.

Just... Just look at him in the gif, that's not just "some kid being sad" there's more to that. This whole interaction solidifies the fact there's nowhere safe for him. Even in the world he made, nothing- Nothing could stop his abuser from reaching him. He couldn't run far enough, he couldn't hide well enough. He just has to accept his fate. He has to go "home", even though his was destroyed.

I don't know how to stay hopeful after this episode, but I'll try to stay alive just for the chance of an act 3 or epilogue or something. It's 4 am as I type this. I started this ep at 12:30 am. This show has proved to be the reigning champion of my mental spiralling. I beg this phone can leave but.... you know how it is-

and ironically enough the ad that I got on this episode...

Anyway,

Closing thoughts: Can't believe Adam, Justin, and Brian are fake, and homophobic for killing off most of the bright light polycule. I mean, that's just classic bury your gays trope right there and smh. Thought they'd do better. Gonna go fall off a waterfall Airy-style since we just can't help having hfjone parallels now. Night, everyone.

[pumpkinsy0]

since ponys eating got fucked after the events of the book i feel like little things would trigger that to come back even in the future so perhaps hcs for that happening and how ppl like his brothers and curly help him??

pony w eating issues after the chirch, my love,,,,

•before pony could eat a LOT, but since coming back, ponys just lost pretty much most of his appetite for anything and even if he DID find something to eat, its not common for him to finish all of it, he id NOT eating like a horse anymore

•usually darry wants pony to have real homemade food thats healthy, but for the time, if pony will eat ANY food hes gonna take that as a win

•lunch time at school????all alone?????w all these socs around????? ponys paranoid to the max!!!! so curly invited pony to sit w him and his gang for lunch, pony thought they were too noisy but look its better than nothing

•but also curlys table is that table where they fuck around and put chocolate milk in their food and make nasty stuff so regardless pony was losing his appetite but whatever

•for new ppl he meets, when they hear he hats bologna, they thinks its some stupid lil childish dislike and they will throw it at him and the smell genuinely makes pony nauseous and he WILL distance himself from em after

•pony eats mainly for darry and sodas sake, but also bc he just wants them off his case, the whole day they ask him what he ate today and pony feels like they feel bad for him and he hates that, so pony eats as a “see im PERFECTLY fine, i dont need ur help at ALL” (hes in such denial)

•dont even get started on how socs smell, that will make him so unappetized and sick to his stomach, so he prefers to eat away from everyone else to lessen the chances of that happening

•lettttt pony drink akasan,,,,maybe the shepards heard pony was having trouble eating and since pony has. sweet tooth and akasan is sweet and it fill them up, it can do the same for pony, and it DOES!!! he just cant drinking it all the time

•its nothing personal its just that after eating that bologna for 5 days straight, pony cant eat something more that 3 times in a row before he starts hating it, so usually the gang has to switch up on their dinners and try to push pony to eat as many of the leftover food as he can before he hates it

•at some point pony kept smoking on an empty stomach and as a “joke” two would steal em and not give it back till pony ate something, even an APPLE would do

•steve just b givin pony a damn granola bar that pony gnaws on throughout the day, it aint doin much but it gives him enough energy

[dartalias]

Pirate Kyoshi/flying opera AU

I wanted to draw this for i while and i still think i will but in case i cant (no time, but i think i can make it) i just gonna drop my idea here:

Pirate Kyoshi and Flying Opera Company

(This will be SUPER long im thinking about it for a while now)

basically: "what if Kyoshi had accepted Tagata's offer" it would be like "i will go with you if you let everyone go."

I kinda mix a little bit with airbender Kyoshi too, but different, so follow me here:

for this AU specific i thoght in make Kyoshi enter the fitht nation and pretend to be a non-bender to Tagata at the beginning since canonically she dont earthbend in front of her intil the seafloor (dosent happend in this scenario)

Why?? do you remember when Tagata say she dosent have use to earthbenders in a ship? But she look to Kyoshi and see "potential"

[Important detail in this AU: Tagata recognise Jesa's fetures in Kyoshi just like that other pirate did (see this in a coment somewhere and love it), i didnt make a backstory for them but i think it would be cool, the point is: she knows Kyoshi is Jesa and Hark daugther]

Because of that Tagata is divide trying to figure out if Kyoshi is an earthbender or an airbender, and Kyoshi's plan is just pretend she can't bend anything to make Tagata "lose time" intil she finds a way to ether escape or defeat her

But when Tagata try make Kyoshi airbend Kyoshi thinks "this will never work, im obvious not the avatar" what make her relax (which is what was missed in the firebend test in canon btw) and dont think about it much

And then she airbend

And BOOM, suddenly she's the avatar, literally only her knows it, and she is surrounded by a bunch of daufei, while being untrained, scared and lost in a completely unfamiliar territory

So, since she cant go back to Yokoya (Tagata and the deal she made etc etc.) She goes to her cannon next impulsive plan B

The Flying Opera Company

Somehow she convince Tagata to bring them in the ship as her "team" or "guests" bc she needs more training (its true) and they would be the only daufeis who would have some idea of how to help her

So she goes to the tea shop and convince them to joing her (in almost the same way of cannon: "you're our lider's daugther and its offering transportation") and agrees to teach her if she joins they, making their vows instead of Tagata's, this way they would be a gang working for pirates instead of part of tagatas krew, which make its possible to Kyoshi be/go openly againt her (not that something would really stop her, but still..)

And thats would be kinda it, they would be runing with the pirates, making caos. With a airbender in there ship they would be easily the "best"/bigest pirates ever (she can literally control the wind, in a ship) besides, fighting with a airbender is something you wouldn't expected or be prepared to do in the daufey line of work

And Kyoshi would be pretending to be just an airbender (probably making up a history of "i couldnt try it or they would figure out", or "it didnt work before" or "i knew it but couldnt train it" something like that) both for Tagata and the Flying Opera (exept Lao Ge who figure it out, maybe he teach her how to kill people here too)

So besides Kyoshi being almost openly agains Takaga and planing for her dawnfall, (she is BAD at pretend to like someone) and seemed to be more of a willing prisioner then a real part of her crew, having a daufei airbender is a super advantage and Tagata is smart enogth to use Kyoshi in her benefit even when Kyoshis is trying so sabotage her or going agains orders, thats a dangerous dinamic, especially with Kyoshi involved, but i think would be great to see it

I dont know how this would end tho (maybe a postponed seafloor rise?)

Some still untied points:

-Jianzhu would still be a big villan, i have some plans for him (and maybe Hei-Ran) but nothing concret

-Rangshi is obviously the endgame, i just dont know yet when she would join Kyoshi (she would never let Kyoshi go with Tagata, so they would have left before Rangi arrives) but since she would definitely go after her and i think this would be it, at some point she finds her and tags along

-Kelsang dies protecting Yun from Jianzhu

Is killed by Jianzhu when he discoveres Kyoshi to be the avatar

Dies trying to go after Kyoshi

Lives and help Kyoshi with airbender later on♡

-Lek lives

-i have NO IDEA how to make Kyoshi get her things (fans, makeup, diary etc.) but she does

And thats it

Write this make the drawing ispiration grow back stronger so maybe i will do somethings of this later

[quodekash]

ITS ABAAB EP 7 TIME and i am sorry 

warning: lots of happiness, too much happiness. take a shot of water every time i say any variation of ‘HAPPY’. stay hydrated, folks. 

wait what happened to cher? did i miss something? 

i dont remember how the last episode ended so its very possible that i missed something 

awh 🥺

thE BED IS STILL ON AN ANGLE WHY IS THE BED ON AN ANGLE SOMEONE FIX THIS IM BEGGING YOU, ITS GOTTA BE A SAFETY HAZARD 

pls they look so comfy 

it looks like theyve been married for a thousand lifetimes 

so comfyyyyy

rIGHT, THEIR GROUP HAD A FIGHT, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED TO CHER, I REMEMBER NOW 

YEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEAH BEACH EPISODE = PURE HAPPINESS AND DOPAMINE 

THREEZO AT THE BEACH 

WE’RE GONNA GET THREEZO AT THE BEACH 

IM LITERALLY ABOUT TO CRY IN ANTICIPATION OF BEACH

i know i already said it like four times BUT THIS LOOKS SO FREAKING COMFY WHAT THE HELL 

THREEZO THREEZO THREEZO

HELLO MY LOVELIES HOW ARE YOU TODAY 

theyre literally in the middle of the frame omg 

little babby 

i love him 

he’s tall but he’s smol 

his HAIR 

LOOK AT IT 

THE HAIR IS SO FLUFFY 

i think my favourite things about this series are jack’s hair and threezo

and theyre both tied for first place 

three’s apology to jack is so freaking sweet omg 

i love him too much 

he struggles with words and communicating but he wants everyone to be happy and he doesnt want conflict and he feels responsible for everything and he is perfection and also he’s either adhd or asd or both, i dont make the rules 

HAPPY

omg his awkward laugh is so cute why was that so cute 

his sweet little ‘hah hah’ 

HIS FACE MAKES ME HAPPY 

HAPPYYYYY 

(damn i did gun/force dirty on that screenshot) 

his freaking face

its making me happy 

this is a happiness overload 

im not used to this much joy in my system 

what do i do with it 

HAPPYYYYYYYYY

dads. 

everyone can see you btw. just letting you know. you’re just standing there, holding hands 

i mean that’s great, good job, not being scared is funky (but its also funky to be scared), it’s just that. you know. if your friends ask questions later and you dont want them to suspect anything then like. it’s your fault. 

altho maybe they dont care if their friends find out, idk at this point 

ignore me

HAPPY

everyone ganging up to push gun in the water. that’s what friendship truly is 

HAPPY

they teleported 

three was next to zo, jack was between cher and zo. they switched. 

hOW?

HAPPYYYYY

THE HAIR

LOOK AT THE HAIR 

they always figure out a way to squeeze it in 

OMG

SOBBING

IM SOBBING

THATS SO CUTE 

HELP

DAMN RIGHT 

his hair is a mess lmao

bRO

HE SAID IT

HE SAID THE THING 

ZOGUN FRIENDSHIP BONDING SCENE OMG HAPPINESS 

he’s known from the very freaking beginning 

before cher even knew 

the gaydar is strong bro 

HIS FREAKING FACE 

HAPPY

HE HAPPY 

PFFFFFFT

i love their friendship so much omg 

(that screenshot looks like hes about to punch him lmao) 

“zo, what is love?” i can feel it, im about to punch a wall or smth bc something threezo is coming 

“what is love for you?” “three.” yUP I KNEW IT OMG IM GONNA FREAKING CRY 

HAIR

FLUFFY FLUFFY FLUFFY ITS SO FLUFFY 

i think i love this man (and his hair) a little too much but its fine 

GJK3BERKJGBVRKEBGR

GUN WHAT THE HELL 

AGAIN, THEY LOOK SO FREAKING COMFY 

well shoot. thoop is mad at cher for being involved with gun. 

good news is: i dont think its homophobia 

it’s just that he doesnt want cher to move on from tian (thoop himself cant move on from tian) and he doesnt want cher to find a relationship because that means, in thoop’s eyes, he’s letting tian go, and thoop cant really deal with that because he’s ✨mentally ill✨

get some sleep my man 

I LOVE HOW MUCH HE LOVES HIS FRIENDS 

HES SO FREAKING CARING 

HE WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HIS FRIENDS 

HED PROBABLY NEVER ADMIT IT BUT HE’S A REAL FREAKING SOFTY ON THE INSIDE 

1. ive never seen more serious finger guns 

2. you’re not bi, sir, why are you doing finger guns 

3. finger GUNs 

that is all 

FINAL THOUGHTS: 

if they dont give us a threezo kiss by the end of this show i will scream. 

[knightobreath]

I am once again reminded you are a real human being

My bad gang I’m sorry

Do not let them get to you

compiling these 3 specifically because theyre all probably about the fact that i said i was tired of getting intentionally trollish asks, so let me explain myself a bit more xP. its a lot because i love to talk

you guys shouldnt be too sorry! i did intentionally encourage these a few times, especially during the #mod 🫒's purgatory thing. because well, as a part of what i do on my blogs and streams I am a clown. i intentionally play as a sort of over-exaggerated feed-the-trolls fool because i think it makes me funnier. but the main issue is that I didn't set a proper boundary between intentionally goofy oliver and genuine human being oliver. This is a direct consequence of having everything be on my personal blog and not relegated to sperate spaces.

the sheer volume of asks ive been getting lately has made keeping up difficult and well. guys im kind of tired of answering nonsense or trollish asks. i'm not witty enough! i'm out of jokes! i've been riffing off of anons every day for like a month! and it is my fault for not just deleting stuff but i do appreciate when you guys want to joke around with me

okay. uh here is the part that is the Straws that Broke the Camel's Back. I can't tell when you guys are joking anymore. I can't gauge how much of the anon "hate" is jokes and how much of it is genuine. I can only tell for sure if it's like my friend saying it. If it isn't clear to me that a friend sent in an ask, it reads as if a stranger sent it. And I can't tell if a stranger is being genuine or not because I don't know you. a key example is the person who said something along the lines of "of course you're a skeleton if you're a vegetarian" which didn't read as a friendly jab but rather a stranger making assumptions about my diet to blame me for my body issues. i assume the anon just saw that those were both things the funny ask answering guy was talking about so they were free game for making fun of. kind of my fault though because as i said, there isnt enough of a boundary between when im being comedic and when i'm being genuine.

so like. tldr in conclusion i love receiving and answering asks and I did sort of have this policy of responding to Every Single One that I just can't do anymore and now I'm suffering from the horrible affliction that is "Bit That's Gone On For Way To Long" with a side effect of not wanting to go back on my word. and now that i actually want to be Real on Main people are going to try and bring it back to jokingly antagonizing me not realizing that it just becomes actual antagonizing when it's not about something i consider a joke. so im just gonna place down some boundaries

streams are a good time to send in silly asks, im in bit mode for that

i also dont take anything seriously on the oscc but please dont bother the other mods about it

im not responding to every ask anymore. Lol. if i cant think of anything funny its going into the void

might also start blocking anons who say shit that is Weird ! no more taking literally everything in good faith

you guys can still send silly asks i just want you to like. roll it back on the whole jokingly being mean to me thing. friends are exempt of course just make it clear that its YOU and not Internet Stranger #66951284

anyways love yall but also i dont know yall. or. most of yall. i accept the anon's apology👍

[iratusmus]

Hii, I read that freakishly looong (but interesting) take on Fiona

Personally, I think the major problem for her in the comics was that she wasnt really of major importance to the writers. I think the writers thought of her as interesting at first then got bored of her and she was lost to the wind.

I think thats where the problem started.

Secondly, I think the freedom fighters were also at fault. I think they forgot that not everyone has the mental capacity to be a hero. Not exactly good person but I think they expected too much of Fiona. Im not saying this in a degrading way tho. I mean, she went through a lot and they expected her to be healed already, they expected her to suddenly see them as heroes and want to be good. They forgot that not everyone has that inclination. They expected too much and I think that also got her overwhelmed.

Im not sure if this makes sense but yeah this is my take on it.

its pretty clear that bollers and penders didnt have much investment in her character at all, but also that that point she was really just a tangentially relevant side character. like i said in my post, frankly before ian gave her a corruption arc she didnt really have much to offer in the first place. you cant really fault the writers all that much because she wasnt really meant to be of major importance. when ian took the helm as main writer he clearly thought she had potential as a character and utilized that through the corruption arc. she wasnt "lost to the wind", she just became a villain and, as such, didnt need to be on the main screen all the time. archie sonic has a lot of villains and it would be honestly a bit annoying if we spent all of our time with just a handful of them - theyre great characters and should be used accordingly! yeah she took a bit of a backseat in the "scourge+fiona+ss go to mobius and get whacked for it" arc, but like. come on they were clearly setting something up here

she comes back in journey to the east and is pulling together her own gang there, and then comes back in full swing in scourge lockdown, in which they were. also. clearly setting something up

the plan according to ian is i believe that scourge & fiona were gonna have an epic breakup and she'd take the destructix in the divorce, which tracks plenty enough with the setup that was being put in place.

also, honestly im gonna have to partially disagree with you on the second point. its a complicated situation and i think youre simplifying it a bit too much. fiona willingly chose to "become a hero" - its not like they made her. she literally couldve left at any point in time to just be a normal civilian (which is... literally what mina did. nobody had an issue with it, even though mina's superspeed wouldve been a massive aid in battle. she wasnt equipped to be a hero in that way because, like you said, that kind of life really isnt for everybody).

also, the freedom fighters frankly cant be everybody's personal therapist - theyve all got so much baggage themselves and they cant even address that because theyre all in the middle of a war 😭 i dont think its that they expected too much of her - id say its much more in the direction of that they didnt even really consider what she went through or how it wouldve affected her in the first place. its less that she got overwhelmed and more that she was functionally an outsider who had no support system and no friends to stick up for her or try to really make her feel like she was one of the team - not out of malice or anything, but just because nobody really ever thought about it in the first place.

overall its just a really messy situation and while fiona made the bad choices that she did of her own volition, there were real reasons behind why she made those decisions in the first place

[matrixwhore]

I think you’re slightly missing the point of that scene which is at that moment louis believes lestat has actually made the effort to compromise for the family (he doesn’t know yet that Antoinette is still alive) and Louis has agreed to kill people again after both lestat and claudia ganged up on him so as far as he knows claudia IS the only one who’s making waves for no reason. That’s literally what prompts her to expose Lestat’s lie after that though and once he finds out Lestat’s compromises weren’t real he also stops making an effort too and sees her provocations as necessary to getting them out in the second chess scene.

I think reading maliciously into that line is weird when we know at that point Lestat has gone to great lengths to fake his way back into the house and he hasn’t yet been exposed in that scene. Like we can say louis is stupid for believing them but that’s often how people treat victims of abuse (why are you so gullible, stupid, etc) when they fall for their abuser’s schemes.

i’m not calling louis gullible or stupid or any of that though. and i said i agree with the points. i just don’t agree with him. that’s what i’m saying. as a person on the outside who has the information i don’t agree with him.

im not reading malliciousy. it was further abuse to turn to a child who is reacting to abuse shes facing from the same individual and call her ugly. he didnt say i dont like when you do that cause. he is irritable and he gets to be irritable with her in a way that he doesn’t lestat. im not saying he’s choosing sides. ive seen it happen. parents who yell or get angry at the kids for making the abusive parent angry or antagonzing them when theyre gonna be that way anyways. thats why she responds with better angry than foolish or whatever. shes being mean right back. bc she wants to get out. she wants to get them both out and it will only happen if she does something. thats an insane amount of burden on a child. its a thing that happens often. kids having to step in and be the ones who fight against the abuser. and to have the parent who you want to be on your side talk to you like that is really not okay. of course shes being unreasonable. shes a child.

a child who can’t do much more and literally cannot be emotionally mature anywhere near where they are at. i’m asking how many times does louis speak softly and gently to lestat (with good reason due to the abuse) and expect more for the child in the situation. he is abused. and claudia is too. shes facing a unique brand of abuse lestat reserves just for her. and she is angry about that. and she is the one who didnt have a choice but to be there. how can she be the bigger person?

im saying i understand his perspective and still asking but how does that read to claudia? that’s what i was getting at. i have myself pointed out that louis doesn’t see a way out of this. so i know that.

but he also went to get lestat from antoinettes house. that’s where he found him. he believes lestat but thats not bc lestat has been in anyway genuine. at all. and louis has shown himself to suspect and say nothing. that is not me blaming him. that is me saying this is a thing i know he does. i understand why he does it. but why should claudia get the energy you cant give to lestat (again for good reason)?? he even admits to have pretty much already known. when he’s walking back with claudia and says theres no point in saying anything. ive been there. i know shutting down bc of overbearing trauma, but when there’s a child invovled then what? and again how often does claudia get chastised for barking and sniping when lestat chokes the collar he put around her neck? louis believes lestat. claudia has no reason to and does not. louis thinks shes not doing enough after everything she has done. i don't agree with him. i can both understand him and not agree with him. im not in his pov. im a viewer.

so to me. everyone endures and claudia bottles her anger and louis doesn’t do anything and lestat continues on as he does bc there is no recourse no matter if claudia says and does nothing. if claudia is antagonizing him lestat rages. lestat also decides to sit them down at a table where neither of them are saying anything and rage anyways. maybe he was taking out what louis said to him about reading in ep 5 or maybe it was something that happened then but we dont know for sure. the way the scene played out in ep 7 theyre having dinner and he starts yelling at them about books. so then what?? claudia is ugly when she fights back. because she was born of the ugliness that forced her into this position in the first place but only she should feel bad about that? and what about how ugly of a comment that was to say?

what im saying is i don’t like that he said that. and i dont agree. and it makes me angry. it makes me angry bc i know claudia’s position very well.

[scribble-brain-aced]

HI I WAS GONNA REPLY IN THE POST AND THEN DEIDED TO PUT IT IN AN ASK INSTEAD LMFAO

ANYWAYS

I have no clue how ours are so similar, we just are psychicly linked ig (silly) RAMBLING TIME my handplates dust hc came to me in a vision (daydream-) bcs i just,,, i love dust angst and theres so much you could do with that. also handplates is neat but dust really feels like the only one of the mtt that could be from a handplates?? i dont know how to describe it but just, the vibes are right. also him and cross can bond over asshole gasters! (also like. ive seen posts about how 'hard' it would be for dust to happen in canon sans but like,, i feel like if he started as a handplates it somehow works more??? hes already fucked up from that even if they cant properly remember that and he was like fully prepared to let gaster die (and did kinda, kill him iirc-) so like. it fits to me) (also im actively re-reading handplates bcs i never finished it n i need it for dust things-) and then ok my blind killer is. kinda funny in origin- so i first got the idea kinda from a gacha life video- it was some small one thats like "'blank' is blind for 24 hours" that was with killer being blind and there was a comment on it about him being blind in canon (which i dont think is true? couldnt find anything else on it n youd think more ppl would like blind killer if that was true-) anyway that like. rotted in my brain for months and it just kinda. got absorbed into my headcanons of him either having like. really bad vision (like urs!!) or just being fully blind n using entirely magic to navigate (my current ver!!) and then when im humanizing them bcs i prefer to draw humans i just kinda. revoked his eye privlages. no more. gone. (also wonderful for angst purposes!!!(i have a thing for angst-))

anyway now im really curious if our aus have any more similaritys (i mean. the dust speaking korean one as well but i think more ppl have that than the others-)

also i want to put our aus in a room together. to see what happens. study them like insects lmfao

honestly yeah, Dust just has The Vibes, thought it would be cool. As for the blind killer thing, I just wondered how he sees through the tears, bc vision gets real blurry, and our tears are CLEAR SO HOW DOES THIS BITCH SEE??? and then i just got obsessed with the idea.

here’s my suggestion:

we shove our Nightmare’s Gangs into a room and take notes, like they’re rats in a maze.

[talon-the-hawk]

Even MORE Incorrect D19 Quotes

Valeri : Whoa, Alexandru, what’s up with that angry face? Alexandru: Valentin won’t stop talking about how “Ancient Egyptians were furries”. Valentin: But they were! Just looks at all their gods- Alexandru: Oh my god, SHUT UP!

-------------------------------------

Alexandru: Do you guys ever have a civilized conversation that doesn't require insulting each other every time you get a chance? Valentin: No. Valeri : No. Alexandru: Didn't think so.

------------------------------------

(During DARKWOODS)

Tim: I’m a reverse necromancer! Larissa: Isn’t that just- Jamie: No. Shut up. Shut the fuck up. You are literally so fucking unfunny that it hurts. It physically hurts my body knowing that people still think murder is funny. I cant believe im saying this but do you guys know how chronically online you all are, thinking that saying “oOh iM a rEVeRsE nECrOmANcER i LOvE tO kiLL pEOpLe” is genuinely funny and will get everyone in the room shitting themselves from laughter?? cause its not. It’s fucking not. In fact, its the unfunniest fucking joke ever. Not just any joke about killing people. This one specifically. Its so unfunny and stupid. Nobody is fucking laughing at that, Tim. It makes you look like a greasy emo kid who has never been outside once in their life and uses tumblr religiously. Like not even the funny side of tumblr. the fucking unfunny side filled with overused jokes about murder and illegal acts. Honestly, youre so unfunny, Tim. Fuck you.

----------------------------------------

Jamie: Do you think different paints have different tastes? Larissa: They do. Kate: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

--------------------------------------

Jamie: I reserve the right to judge a movie based on when it was made, thank you very much. Kate: You consider anything made before 2000 old and bad. Jamie: And I reserve that right! After all.... Jamie: I bet you wouldn’t like the average movie made in 1879! Kate: There were no movies made in 1879. Jamie: *slams table* WRONG! There was ONE movie made in 1879! The first movie! A zoopraxioscope of a horse galloping! Matt: Oooh! Let’s go ask Valentin if he saw it in theatres!

(Yes, he did in fact see it in theatres-)

-------------------------------------

Kate: I didn’t know that air fryers are a real thing. Used to think that they were made up by the internet as a funny joke and that their purpose was to “fry air”. Larissa: WAIT, BUT IT FRIES THE AIR TO FRY THE FOOD?? Kate: I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS A KITCHEN APPLIANCE, MY FIRST ASSUMPTION WAS SOMETHING AKIN TO AN AIR CONDITIONER! Matt: IT’S NOT LIKE AN AIR CONDITIONER???? Jamie: You guys clearly don’t own an air fryer.

-----------------------------------

Kate, spraying a melted cutting board with a tiny water gun: We gotta cool this bitch down. Cool it down. Jamie: I actually just put the cutting board in the oven... Larissa, visibly confused: Okay, so they decided to put the cutting board in the oven? Kate, spraying Jamie: You FUCKING DUMBASS! Jamie: Dude, I forgot- Kate: OH MY FUCKING GOD! We're trying to make Chicken Alfredo right now, and you fucking MELT the cutting board in the oven at 400 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!? Valentin: *Watching in complete confusion while trying to process this whole situation.*

--------------------------------

Valentin: We might have gotten into a bar room brawl back in the city. Dracula: Well, that was entirely predictable. Valentin: One of them punched a gang member. Dracula: Valeri? Valentin: Alexandru, actually. Dracula: Oh, that was going to be my second guess.

----------------------------------

Kate: What’s the announcement, Matt? Matt: It’s a lecture. Jamie’s gonna tell us everything they know about sex. Larissa: It should be an enjoyable 60 seconds.

----------------------------------

Valeri: I still don’t have a New Year’s resolution. Alexandru: You could lose a few. Dracula: You could be less lazy. Valentin: Don’t be such a bitch. Valeri: Okay DAMN, SHIT.

---------------------------------

Jamie: THEY COME SEASONALLY! Jamie: THEY COME EVERY YEAR! Kate: What- Larissa, are they drunk again- Jamie: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHERE I GO! Jamie: WHAT DOES IT MEAN? Larissa: What does WHAT mean? Matt, who is the only one who knows what Valentin is talking about: I mean, when you found one in the bathroom- Kate: WHAT THE FUCK DID JAMIE FIND IN THE BATHROOM? Jamie: I’M TELLING YOU LIKE- LIKE IN THE SWIMMING POOL- Jamie: IN L.A. Jamie: EVERYWHERE I GO, THE DUCKS COME TO ME! Kate and Larissa : Oh, for fuCKS SAKE Jamie-

[larnax]

ok so i know i wrote the other post about rewriting throné's story and i put a crossed paths between her and osvald in it but im gonna be real i literally wrote that in 5min and am no longer happy with it so heres a version of it that incorporates the cloudy mirror. if i was gonna do this i would also definitely have to rewrite tem/now partitio's crossed paths if i did this but thats another post

Throné and osvald come across a washed-up corpse on the shore of the brightlands clutching a strange locked box. Throné recovers the box but cant get the lock open, osvald finds it strangely familiar and they agree to work together on trying to find out what it contains. After scrutinizing some townspeople osvald discovers that a scholar recently disappeared who he identifies as an old friend of his who was obsessed with religious relics and remembers that the seal on it means it has something to do with vitalists, a religious sect who believe that vide and aelfric are actually twin gods and that the church of the sacred flame has tried to depose vide in whats essentially a biblical succession battle, but that the scholar would have been the only person who really had the resources or motivation to learn anything else and any information would be in their workshop in montwise. Throné says she honestly cannot tell if theyve gotten their hands on something very valuable or complete junk. Osvald says that’s most of what being a scholar is, and throné jokes that actually being a thief isn’t too different

they arrive in montwise and osvald finds the scholars hidden workshop has been ransacked. They deduce that this happened within a few hours and decide to try and find the culprit. Throné recognizes a blacksnake and is immediately like. Oh… This idiot. She reveals it’s scaracci, a blacksnake who is both lazy and incompetent but treasured by Mother for being so mindlessly loyal that he’ll do literally any job, although he might not… yknow… succeedat it. scaracci is pissed and reveals that he did successfully recover what mother asked him to steal even if he did kinda sorta mess up a little on the job in new delsta, osvald mugs him and recovers the key to the box, which turns out to contain a strange, cloudy mirror. Throné wonders why the hell a blacksnake was tasked with retrieving this and assassinating a weird religious scholar, leading osvald to ask if the blacksnakes have any religious investments she knows of. Throné says that Mothers orphanage is actually officially associated with the Sacred Flame and staffed by nuns(one assumes they’re Just registered as an orphanage and the “running a school for your indentured thief-child-gang” is unofficial), but thieves generally only worship the one god. Osvald is like hmm. You know, my scholar associate was always very interested by aeber, especially the theory that he was originally the god of kindness who was demoted for insisting on sympathizing with and helping criminals condemned by the church. Throné is like ah, like you and i. osvald pauses and then is like…. Yes. Like you and i.

Alternatively if you want to have her already have realized the blacksnakes are connected to vide since it could be completed after her chapter 5, you could have her say that and simply speculate about how the blacksnakes meant to use the mirror, I just think it’s lame to have throné be connected to a completely different god than her patron and not do Anything with that, so he at least gets a mention and also this allows that thing where osvald and throné are both criminals against their will to also be at least said once

how they meant to use the mirror is that ori hired them. Her investigations led her to figuring out that the mirror can be used to change flames of vide to flames of aelfric and vice versa so she wanted it out of the picture completely lest some travelers hypothetically use it to undo a century’s worth of work in about an hour. Hypothetically.

She found this out from harvey which preserves their working relationship and allows the structure of the leadup to their torch to be mostly the same.

[ubeparfait]

canonically and accurately me and mikey would literally never get together in 99% of the timelines because of incredible mental instability on my end and extreme stubbornness on his i think. i genuinely think that even if it seems like hes into me at all that it cant be real because he cares too much about all his friends and his crazy ass gang and im to overly friendly to everyone and too shit to express anything romantically explicit so mikey wouldnt be able to fucking tell that i like him and im not sure if he'd pursue me otherwise because even if he IS a greedy fuck he is incredibly caring and i feel like to an extent wouldn't want to involve me in gang activity because it IS dangerous and im crazy weak. and in any event that mikey does the shit he did after tenjiku and like. beats ppl up and leaves i would never be able to recover from that shit like genuinely. i hc me and mikey as LONNNGGTIME childhood friends from the sano dojo bcs i WAS actually enrolled in karate as a kid and if someone i was that close to for years and years and straight up fell in love with left me? even if he didnt do a beat up thing and told me his reasoning or whatever? id probably be freaked out forever like seriously. itd be even worse if he left without saying anything. when my ex ghosted me i literally had a months long episode and would constantly stalk him to the point where i found his other accs his instagrams and figured out that he was faking his identity and was literally someone i actually knew and that he was a shit person and that he was lying ab his age anyways and idgaf ab him anymore but considering i was only with the guy for under a MONTH before? yeah if mikey left me id full on BREAK. like id be cutting everyone off in a panic and freaking out all the time and trying to find every trace of him and trying to find him daily but never approach if i saw him because if he looked at me again id probably throw up then cry then beg him to come back then punch him then kill myself. and i think mikeys mindset is just like "its for the better" but doesnt realize how much id love him and need him by my side and that im actually fucking insane a little bit i need to see a. psychiatrist. but anyways itd fundamentally change me if that happens and id probably hate him and love him so much that it tears me apart constantly and then i also like to think that mikey would never be able to stop thinking about me. like "for the better" my ass he's gonna see a random fuck walking around with glasses on and jolt a little bit. he's gonna see every food ive cooked for him and never stop feeling that longing. he'll hear me in every crowd he's in. every bit of warmth he gets feels like my touch. he'd feel fucking deranged over me bcs i need to believe he's as crazy over me as i am over him. i love doomed einmai

[kawaiicherryblossomperfection]

this is so complicated! no its not yes it is i didnt want to die die die die but i did for the gang! damn ok so i know hes not here trust me hes not but why couldnt u stop urself from insulting me? i never did any of that dumb bitch! oh really? oh haha ew ur gross! its really me! omg ttyl i didnt insult u i promise i did what was right and we can totally move on from the next part of the story to thw other but where the fuck did u go baby? i have no idea thats whats so weird about it u didnt go anywhere but austin tx nah she didnt go there! she went to native ohio no she went to a corner store... and died? like thats it! and were capable and strong right? u wont forget about skatepark deaths too right? no i wont my dude ok so stay away from bad ppl doing weird things to u like arguing or fighting u ok? ok are u scared 1 second forever nah i came back! i got to fight and it was my fault ew ur so naive to think that that i wanted to kill u that u couldnt die that u couldnt live horror cutz whose on the boat? a dying antelope whats on the hill? a dying school bus whats on the hill? a dying antler whats on the hilltop a dying carcuss animal crush sad was yesterdays news that ur child was dying alone that she couldnt eat that she couldnt breathe lava & knives hi lets go home for a minute well it wasnt as good as planned well we die alone sometimes well we cant eat dinner well weve got to go home hey did u do anything last night? no i fucked all night well im a virgin suicide i die everyday eating plastic bowling balls im gonna eat a virgin and call her suicidal janette bc the plastic teens eat queeno benders ew thats one green lets play hockey instead ew! lets go get lava & knives its me u dumb bitch im gonna hop skip and jump away i do love u & u dont have to ask im gonna be the star in daddy! no stop? porno no way i think id rather die bc ur daughter just ruined the joke like she always does right? well no fucking way captain obvious we got drinks tonight at the bar ok so go home to daddy i do love her shes been creating me or maybe i created her what? ok so stop all the press im in love with desarae renee hollins and i wish scary gangsta could be too bc see he is! and always has been and that guy didnt stand a chance just wait bc we dont cheat and were not gay and we dont talk to other women daamn baby its me too! ive got a whole knife in the lava dept ew hahaha um i find it hard to believe that u want him to be the first lava & knives but the second one hes a pro! yea were already getting ready to come over nah were tired and hungry too and desarae renee hollins is never cooking another day in her life! ok so get away from me and heres some meth ok so? i saw that! and he ran away big time it wasnt me pretty girl yes! she is she is she is she is well what about me? what about what i want? i want a diamond ring from tiffanys yes its bout 50 hahaha funny af and we will say why! so its funny bc it is and i laughed bc it was ok so? she will never know if i love her and i do so what about tiffany ew! hahaha she and i dont even walk home together fascinating? not really dude! it was just a sentence and i get it we create with words ok so no big deal ive got 100m needles laying around woa woa woa who said that? i have got to ask u why u keep floating around here! no im not dead im still alive! hahaha ew no hahaha that emotion is phsyically impossible for anyone what i have is the exact opposite and she has it too lol well maybe after her office visit with lava & knives 1 second forever ew hahaha shes a drug dealer? hell nah bitch that is real real judgy and franklin go home nigger

[pumpkinsy0]

Tim Shepard (Tv series) Head Cannons

🟦 ▅ ▆ ▇ █ 🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷█ ▇ ▆ ▅ 🟦

This is if you seen the Tv show or not its fine :P

***he really is a good artist (DID YOU SEE THE DRAWING OF CALIFORNIA HE DID LOL,,,,,HE EVEN GAVE IT TO PONY HOW SWEET OF HIM😭🙏🏻)***

🟦 ▅ ▆ ▇ █ 🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷█ ▇ ▆ ▅ 🟦

***I wanna see what you come up wit! I LOVE YOUR HCS THERE AMAZING! AND INTERESTING YOU MAKE ME LIKE THE CHARACTERS MORE JUST BY THE HCS LOL***

But take your time!! NO RUSH THANK YOU🙏🏻♥

🟦 ▅ ▆ ▇ █ 🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷█ ▇ ▆ ▅ 🟦

Sorry to ask this! Its just over seen the show and in my opinion i was a great show I loved it! I LOVES IT EVEN MORE CAUSE OF TIM. HE REALLY IS MY FAVE!🙏🏻😭 (IM OBSESSED WITH HIM! NOT IN A WEIRD WAY GOD NO😭) I KIN WITH HIM SO MUCH I RELATE WIT HIM SO MUCH🙏🏻🙏🏻😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Also your my favorite "OUTSIDERS" fanpage! Your my favorite person! (Love'ya :D )

🟦 ▅ ▆ ▇ █ 🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷█ ▇ ▆ ▅ 🟦

i havent seen the show in a while so what i remember is rusty and i dont think tim was rlly there a bunch so i only have like 3 hcs im srry BUT to make up for it i will go into depth about them kinda sorta, and by hcs i mean aspects of his character i liked in the show and just went “yea thats tim im including that in my tim most definitely” but i do have like 2 hcs

•hes a good artist

loved this part of his character in the show, i feel like he was one of those kids who would doodle on like desk n stuff like that, and maybe he was one of those kids who was into graffiti and he just liked designing things but had no real outlet, sometimes at night when he cant sleep or somethin or hes thinking of like idk gang stuff he draws cause it helps clear his mind, he also just thinks its funny to draw a lot of weiners, hes still a teen hes a lil immature, but i also hc that his artistic abilities kinda inspired angela and curly as well and they become artist in their own right

•hes close to pony

OK LOOK I LOVE THIS AS A FOIL RELATIONSHIP TO DARRY AND CURLY ITS GREAT, but HOW did they get close??? most likely after johnny and dallys deaths, pony spends more time w curly which means more time at curlys house which means seeing tim a lot more as well, at first tim would just pop in and go like “do yall want somethin to eat” and ofc pony was afraid at first but l as time went on, they just kinda clicked, maybe over art, bc each other using creativity as an outlet, or something or bc tim was like “o he is a bit fucked up actually” and took him under his wing

•hes somewhat involved w the curtis gang

mostly based off that one rumble episode, BUT i hc that after dallys death, tim became not close but definitely not a stranger to the curtis gang, he doesnt rlly hang out w them or anything like that, but he does see them quite a bit and talks to them, and especially teams up w them when they need it, think of tim as what dally was to the gang, the guy who came n went but was down w them, but in his own “yall cool but i got a gang to lead so ill help darry a bit when it comes to handlin yall” way if that makes any lick of sense

BUT FOR ACTUAL HCS OF MINE

•i hc that angela and curly werent there bc they were off w their grandma, y u ask??? man idk they love their grandma i guess who r we to judge

•perhaps it was around that time that angela and curly was gone that tim started getting closer to pony cause he kinda missed up and wanted someone to look after, he just got that “damn i need to b a guardian to a fucked up kid or else im gonna go insane my damn self” thing goin on and pony was there so

•i said it before but idc ill say it again, tims art is influenced by haitian art, maybe not like the style exactly, but the idea of it being vibrant, black ppl being shown using the actual color black, yknow that thing

•tim mostly draws ppl and landscapes, maybe he goes out of his way and draws like anatomy stuff wether its normal things or like horror

•he would never actually show his drawings to anyone, he rlly only shows pony it cause he knows pony wont judge, ofc angela and curly knows and have seen it but thats bc theyre nosey and poke around his things, he knows about it but they havent said anything so it’s whatever

thats all i could think of mb</33

and thank u im glad my acc beings some sorta joy, luv ya 2 anon🙏🏽🙏🏽

[drabbles-mc]

failed to read this as a bedtime story. instead im reading it in the middle of the workday because no one can stop me 😌

Sorta feels like you’re just a part of it, part of him, part of the day and the routine <- oh. okay. so you're just.....you're gonna have me yearning in the middle of the afternoon like this??? fuck off affectionate

And you gotta say, those one’s are nice ones, cause it lets you shut everything off, which you figure is the same thing he likes about it.  <- big fan of the fact that these two are carting around emotional baggage that would need to be checked at the airport and they just aren't saying anything about it sksks honestly??? same

sits on the step when you got a perfectly good bench on the porch <- obsessed with this detail. would love to elaborate but im afraid the language in my head cannot be translated to english

you watch him ride off like he’s already got you down with a mortgage and a ring and everything else <- i adore this because idkidkidk it feels so real. like getting out of a serious longterm relationship (this man had a whole marriage) and going back to casual dating has to be such a strange transition. like you forget how it goes. how do you do casual after you built an entire life with someone?????? johnny sure as fuck doesn't know!!! so he's just gonna keep acting like a whole husband

“Well, they’re wrong, alright? S’not like that for me.” <- oh 🥹

Cause that would tire him out, no matter how flattering he’s trying to be. <- damn. mothers really do be like that huh? 😅

Mrs Saccone don’t even bother knocking no more <- SKSKSK not the nosey neighbor accepting defeat!!!! i adore her

Before you got the hang of it, he said he was always thinking you might come flying off one day, right up over his shoulder onto the concrete <- JOHNATHAN DAVIS 😂 you can't just go SAYING THAT to people 😂 sksks i love him. i hear it so clearly. i'm crying laughing he's just sooooooo!!!!!

cause no matter how he tries to fix his face, it never looks right <- i know exactly what they mean by this but it still sounds like a lowkey roast and it's making me giggle skskks

But sometimes how it is and how it should be aren’t really working out, you know, and today you’re feeling like reminding him of that. <- reader stays spitting facts and i love them for it. this is the typa person johnny needs in his life. little shots of cold water to remind him of what's what

“Oh, like you and Brucie are running some big scary gang or something. Come on, Johnny.” <- pffftttt no but they're so so right. Johnny at least cuts an intimidating image. but Brucie??? sweet lil Brucie with the gorgeous wife????? stoppit right now sksk

“What? I need to buy a leather jacket first?” <- every few lines i've said it and every few lines i'll say it again: i love them so much!!!! if johnny isn't gonna swoop them up EYE will

omg i'm gobbling every word of this Reader Lore

“I’m thinkin, you’re gonna take a look at one of those guys and realise you picked the wrong one,” <- JOHNNY?????????????????? SHUT YOUR MOUTH RIGHT NOW???????? bro the way i lost my eyebrows in my hairline at this. i cant. i dont even know the words to say about it.

Benny. Benjamin. his presence looms over the narrative always

In a kind that has that little bike stand screaming for help kinda way. <- ohhhhh 😏

On the way home, he’s even telling you which ones of them you’ll like, which ones you’ll not like so much, and which ones you don’t need to bother getting to know at all—and you figure that means they’re a real extreme version of one of those other two categories, so you listen real close to that part. <- okay but i want the entire venn diagram laid out in my dms asap thank you very much. im obsessed i need to know the ins and outs of the categories

GODDDDD I LOVE THEMMMMMMMMM i'm kicking my feet and giggling and spinning around in my office chair

white room - pt.4

johnny davis x gn!reader, 18+, canon typical themes and language, 3.9k words, 4 of ? ao3 link | previous part a/n: thankyou for all the comments so far, it's really keeping this whole thing alive <3 <3 (gif credit to @hausofmamadas ! )

After that, the dates don’t feel like dates no more. Sorta feels like you’re just a part of it, part of him, part of the day and the routine, you know? Which you like as much as you don’t, cause seeing him so much is real nice—and it’s nearly every day sometimes. But you’d still like to go out and do things together too, nice things, the way people do when they’re still trying to win each other. 

How it’s working now, is Johnny’ll show up some time—meaning after work, or after dinner, or after it’s gone dark and you shouldn’t be accepting visitors at all, but you do, cause it’s only him, you know—without the least bit of warning, and he’ll ask if you wanna go someplace. And someplace is either that bar you and him have sorta made into your bar, from that one night that time, or sometimes someplace is everyplace, cause he likes just riding round with you. Likes cutting through the night with you on the back. And you gotta say, those one’s are nice ones, cause it lets you shut everything off, which you figure is the same thing he likes about it.  

But if you’re really honest, most times, you don’t even get off the front porch.

He comes over just to sit right there with you, like it’s the most normal thing in the world. Like he pays part of the upkeep or something. Some days it’s like maybe a few minutes, other days, it’s closer to a couple hours. Always with no requests, no offers, just, "You got a minute?" And you say, "yeah, for you I got ten," cause, well, you’re kinda starting to feel like need it. Like you’d sleep funny if you didn’t get to see him, even just for a little while. 

What you think it is, cause it happens so often, and real routine, you know, every Tuesday and Thursday and Sunday, you’re thinking he’s stopping by before going to one of them club meetings. Comes over just to see you, cause he knows he’s got no time for nothin else, so it’ll have to do. And believe it or not, sometimes he’s even got a couple of guys with him, but they carry on while he’s parking up, not waving bye to him or nothin, so it makes no difference really. 

Then Johnny gets off, and takes a coffee when you offer it to him, and sits on the step when you got a perfectly good bench on the porch, and you sit right there next to him. Just talking and stuff. Saying lots without really saying much; small talk that’s a little sweet and a little boring, too. How’s your day, you know, what you been up to.

Funny enough, more often than not, his days are just as boring as yours are. Just bikes and trucks and roads with nothing much else on them. Occasionally, he’ll have a little sort of gossip on someone, like Corky pissing Wahoo off about something, but by the time you see him next, they’ve already gone right back to being best buddies, and Johnny’s got nothin more to say about it. 

But you like to hear whatever he’s got to give, boring work stuff or not, cause then it means you’re even, you know? You can go on and on about the office and he’s got to mean it when he says he don’t mind hearing about it, cause you mean it when you say it back to him, right?

When he’s done talking, he sets the empty mug down and says, see ya, Lips, and then sometimes he kisses you, and sometimes he don’t, and you watch him ride off like he’s already got you down with a mortgage and a ring and everything else that would have a person waving him off like that. You don’t mind so much. About the kisses, or the little talks you guys have. It’s just like stopping for gas, you figure. He’s only there to fill himself up before he goes back into that wolf den, and if it’s you he’s filling up on, well, that’s more of a compliment than anything else he’s ever said to you. 

“You’ve got this thing,” he said one time, “this thing about you that makes me feel like I’ve slept a whole week just from being here.”

And you said, “That’s those new coffee beans I got,” pointing to the ‘I heart Chicago’ mug he was cradling. 

“I’m serious.”

But you were too. “No one’s ever thought I’m anything but real tiring,” you said.

“They tell you that?”

“In some way or another.”

“Well, they’re wrong, alright? S’not like that for me.”

Feels crazy to say so, but from the look of him when he arrives, and the look of him when he gets back on that bike to leave again, then sure, it really seems like he's telling the truth. You’re winning out over coffee and a night in bed, somehow.

Before you can even notice it, a whole month goes by, and it’s all cause of Johnny.

His little porch-side pit stops make one day go flying on into the next, and the next, and so on, and stuff. Then all of a sudden, you’re telling him about the signet ring that was your Pop's—so that’s why you wear it on your thumb like that—and telling him about the year you worked in Minnesota—cause that's where your grandparents lived—and you sort of do kinda tell him about Mom, but not really. Cause that would tire him out, no matter how flattering he’s trying to be. 

Somewhere in that month he starts saying things about his kids, and Betty too, that you never really thought he’d ever say to you—cause why would he, you know? There's somethings even you wouldn’t ask about. But he comes by so often, it ends up coming out of him in one conversation or another, and before you know, it’s been a while. A real note-worthy type of while. And Johnny Davis has kinda sorta become your Johnny, as much as you’ve become his, in a lazy porch step kind of way. And you feel like you know him almost. Like he’ll stick around, and you will too.

There he comes again now, see, turning down your street right as you put the coffee pot on. You don’t drink it after work, or ever really, but he does. For the meetings, like you said. So it works better to have it ready for him. Mrs Saccone don’t even bother knocking no more, cause his bike’s cutting up the quiet more often than it’s not, and you reckon she got all tired of lifting up the broom like that. Or she got over it, you know, like she realised he ain’t the trouble she thought he was.

Johnny says it’s cause he saw her once and said hello, all polite and charming, so now she likes him. Yeah. Sure, you said, couldn���t be that she’s eighty something, you know, and can only bang a broom on a wall so much. Plus, she don’t like anyone that ain’t related to her, but, eh, if Johnny wants to think he’s wooed her then it’s whatever. Both of them are fine about it, or at least not causing some sort of neighbourhood war for you, so who cares?

“Hey Johnny.” 

You’re already out waiting for him by the time he’s outside, cause you hear the engine long before you can see him, and he pulls up over the driveway that never gets any use no more. He don’t shut the bike off like he usually does, though. Just sits there with it running under him, feet flat either side of it. 

He nods at you greeting him, then says, “Wanna go for a ride?”

So it’s one of those days. A Wednesday, you remember. 

“Where to?”

He shrugs, and he looks real tired today, now that you’re looking at him proper. His eyebrows all low and lazy over his eyes. “Nowhere,” he says.

Well, that’s good enough for you. “Alright,” you tell him, “as long as nowhere leads somewhere that sells some bread. I’m all out.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Gimme a sec.”

These days, you’re on the back of that thing like you know how to drive one yourself. So quick and professional about it, Johnny don’t even have to help you up no more. Just trusts that you can climb on and off all by yourself, and that you know when to lean and squeeze your knees, and all that other riding stuff too. Which you figure must be nice for him now, cause it means he don’t gotta worry about anything other than the road. 

Before you got the hang of it, he said he was always thinking you might come flying off one day, right up over his shoulder onto the concrete. You told him, you never knew that was a thing that could happen in the first place, but it was too late to be nervous about it by then cause you were already used to it, you know? So he got lucky with that one. Any earlier and you’d’ve said you’re not going no where fuckin near that thing, whether he was romancing you, or not. 

Tonight, you’re going for miles before Johnny shows any real sign of stopping. All the way out of town, and then some, right into the crap that lies in the dirt between home and the next one over. When he does, the sun’s only barely clinging on over the top of the horizon, which must be why he’s picking now to pull over someplace, cause if he waits too long it’ll be dark, and cold. Though, you never notice the cold when you’re out riding no more, not like you did that first time, cause when you’re wrapped right up in the warm of him that’s all you can focus on. But he’s forgotten his gloves today, and his hands will sure complain about that once the sun's gone. 

He’s picked some little row of storefronts that you’ve never seen before, rolling into the lot with his bike in neutral. Not firing or purring or anything, just cruising in, real slow, with one hand on the bars and the other on his thigh. 

And you know why he’s done it, cause one of the storefronts has a big stack of grocery looking crates sitting outside of it, and everything else that might suggest it’s a place that’s selling bread, but you can tell it’s closed before he even puts the brakes on. Lights off, blinds down. You get off and have a look through the window just in case, like the guy might be in there behind the counter still, but nope. It’s as empty as it looks.

And when you go back to Johnny, he seems real sorry about it. Like he could’a known.

He’s got his bike parked up and quiet now. Got it standing slanted on that little stand that don’t look like it can really hold the weight of the thing, let alone that and Johnny, who’s leaning against the lean of it, too. Two big hunks of stuff on one little arm. 

“Guess I’m not taking lunch tomorrow,” you tell him. Which you regret as soon as you do, cause then he looks like he feels even worse about it, wincing a little, and you were only saying something just to say it.

“I might have some at my place,” he says, more like an apology than a real offer of anything. “I guess we could stop by on the way back.”

You wave him off. “Don’t worry about it.” 

There’s this sandwich place by your work, which you like more than any other sandwich place you’ve ever been to, and you never really have any excuse to go there, so in a way this is a blessing, you know. No bread, what a shame. Bologna and extra cheese please. 

“We gotta think of some other place to go now,” you say, messing with the loose thread in your jacket pockets, while Johnny messes with the cigarette he’s not bothering to light yet. 

Probably planned on smoking it while you were in there shopping. Now he’s just tapping the end of it on his thigh, then flicking it round, and tapping with that end too. Which is a little more fidgety than he usually is, now that you’re thinking about it. 

“Did something happen today?” you ask him, cause no matter how he tries to fix his face, it never looks right. Looks like his mind's somewhere three miles behind you in the road still, and with the tapping, and the tiredness. Yeah, you don’t need to be one of those brain doctor guys to work it out. You don’t even need to know him the way you do. Any Joe could look at him and think something was up, some way or another. 

“Something like what?” he says.

You wait some more. You’re not feeling like knocking around the bush about it.

“S’okay,” he goes on. “Just somethin’, some trouble the other day. Last week. Still sitting on my mind a little, is all.”

Which is a long time for anything to be sitting on it, and you saw him two days ago, but he looked fine and said nothin about it then. So he’s either lying, or real good at hiding things, until he can’t hide them no more. “Wanna talk about it?” you ask.

He shakes his head.

“Wanna talk about it in a way that’s not really talking about it?”

He puffs a big breath out of his nose, then his head goes back and away like you’re bothering him, or something. “Come on,” he says. “No is no, you know how it is.”

But sometimes how it is and how it should be aren’t really working out, you know, and today you’re feeling like reminding him of that.

You move forward until you’re standing right in front of him, and cause he’s sitting and leaning the way he is, that means he’s looking up at you now. And with his legs crossed at the ankles the way they are, they’re going straight between your knees like some big lazy bean pole. Which you figure puts him right where you want him.

“You know you don’t always have to keep me in one hand, and club stuff in the other,” you say. Which is what this is really all about, if he felt like saying so. “I can mix with anythin and anyone, Johnny.”

“I know that.” He rubs a palm down over his face, then shrugs and says, “But I don’t want you mixing with it.”

“Why not?”

“Cause it’s not—you don’t need all that.”

“I think I do.” Cause he is all of that, not just cause he’s club president, but because he’s Johnny, and the club, the guys, it’s all a part of him—and yeah, sure, you’re really starting to need him, alright, which means needing all of that, too. “I can handle it.”

His face pinches a little like he might’ve stood on something sharp. “You don’t even know what you’re asking for.”

“Oh, like you and Brucie are running some big scary gang or something. Come on, Johnny.”

You’ve not met Brucie yet, not properly, but from what Johnny says, he’s as normal as anyone. An electrician that helps him count dues and wire up telephones. Johnny’s right hand and best friend, it’s cute, yeah, and no different from anyone else they run about with. Whatever he’s painting to try and scare you off, you’re not buying it. You might’ve in that pizza place that one time, but now? 

He sighs, looking even more tired than he was when you started pecking at him. “It’s not…it’s just things you got no interest in, you know. Stuff you don’t wanna waste your time on.”

“How’d you reach that conclusion?”

His chin flicks up. “Well, look at you."

And you do, you look down your front and your jeans and the boots you never wore until you started riding with him. “What? I need to buy a leather jacket first?”

When he laughs, you can tell that he wishes he didn’t, but he can’t help it as much as you can’t stop your mouth from saying the things it does sometimes. 

“You know, my mom’s on some crazy pilgrimage right now,” you say. 

Then Johnny does what anyone would do and says, “What?” like you started speaking a different language mid-sentence.

“Yeah, said she was going to San Francisco for a little while, to see some guy and learn some yoga, or something. But now she’s in Europe, trying to be one of them, I don’t know, sort of spiritual guide people, and going place to place looking for something she can’t even explain to me.” You clear your throat from the little frog in it. “Which isn’t the point,” you say.

His head shakes like he’s lost. “What is the point?” he asks, impatient in a kinda charming, sort of irritating way. 

“The point is, she’s a funny sort of person, and before she was doing all that, when I was a kid, you know, she was always moving us about and stuff. Always dragging me along with her when I was too small to be doing things like that.” You fold your arms and Johnny don’t say nothin, so you carry on a little. “We were going all over the country, near enough, and staying with all sorts of people that I never saw more than once.”

He frowns. “What for?”

“You’d have to ask her that yourself.” Cause you and her got a real sweet understanding lately, one that means you don’t ask her why, just as long as she don’t make you feel bad for not wanting to do what she wants anymore. Best sort of deal you two have ever come up with. “All I’m saying is, I saw some real weird shit before I even learned how to read eight letter words. And I bet you not one thing about that club of yours would surprise me. Or scare me, or whatever it is.”

He nods slow like he’s thinking about it. Which you figure is him being nice, cause he’s probably only nodding to buy him time to work out what to say when a person says something like that, admitting something personal that no-one likes hinting at, you know. Like Moms not being very good moms when they ought to have been. Like kids not getting to be kids, and stuff.

“See, I’m not worried about that part,” he says. 

Well. That sweeps you right off your feet almost, cause you figured that was his whole deal. “You’re not?”

One of his hand wanders up your leg til it’s sitting on your hip, with his thumb through the belt loop there. “I’m thinkin, you’re gonna take a look at one of those guys and realise you picked the wrong one,” he says. “Ugliest one you could’ve,” he says.

Which is a load of hot, steaming horse crap. So you laugh, and he’s looking at you that way he does when he gets you to throw your head back like that.

“Don’t do that when I’m being serious,” you tell him, trying to stop yourself from smiling, but not really stopping at all. 

“Who’s not being serious?”

“What is it really?”

“Just what I said,” he insists. But he’s smirking in his eyes so you know that he’s lying.

“Johnny,” you say.

“Benny,” he says back.

You stop. “What?”

“That’s what it is,” he says, “I don’t want you meeting him.”

Suddenly this guy's a real comic, who knew? You prod a finger into the meat of his shoulder, scoffing at him. “I took you for a lot of things, Johnny, but I never took you for a man who’s gonna worry about losing out to someone like that. Benny or no Benny.”

That hand on your hip squeezes you a little, and pulls you in closer than you already are. “Yeah?” he says, smiling cause you’re feeding his ego now, and you don’t mind one bit about doing it.

“None of those guys are even my sort,” you tell him. “Wouldn’t pay them no mind, even if you never existed.”

At that, he kisses you in a way that feels like a reward, though you can’t figure out which one of you’s is winning. It’s all short and sweet and soft against those lips of his, and just when you're thinking like he might take it somewhere further, cause his hand’s sliding round to the back of you, he pulls away and looks right into your eyes. And you’re so close together, you’re sorta going cross-eyed to look back at him. 

“You really wanna get involved?” he asks.

“Yeah, I really do.” 

“Even if it’s not pretty, or whatever?”

“Even if it’s the ugliest thing in the world,” you say. “M’tired of only getting half of you.” 

He nods, and it’s so slight you wouldn’t have even noticed if his chin didn’t budge against yours, stubble scratchy and forgiven for it. “Alright, then.” 

You lean back to put some air and sense between the two of you. “Really?

“If it’s what you want,” he says, like it was always that easy.

Yeah, it’s what you want, you tell him, in a sort of a way. In a kind that has that little bike stand screaming for help kinda way. Kissing him so much, he don’t know whether to push you back, or lie down on that seat and let it all happen. 

And then that’s that, you guess, flood gates lifted. You get to know about club stuff, as long as Johnny don’t mind you knowing, and he don’t seem so reluctant to have them meeting you no more. On the way home, he’s even telling you which ones of them you’ll like, which ones you’ll not like so much, and which ones you don’t need to bother getting to know at all—and you figure that means they’re a real extreme version of one of those other two categories, so you listen real close to that part. 

You don’t ever find out what was getting him looking tired that way, not really, but he does say they’re opening a new chapter now, after some debating about it. Which sounds like something that’d be a real headache to sort out, so you figure that must’a been it. 

It’s also how you find yourself invited to one of those picnics of theirs, whatever that means. The first one where this chapter and Milwaukee’s chapter are all getting together, a real big one, apparently. So naturally you says you wanna go and Johnny says alright. Alright, you know. 

Pick you up early next Saturday, he says, cause apparently you gotta ride for a while, and these things go from when the first bike arrives til the last one leaves again. Johnny’s gotta be there for all of it, of course—and you’ve just fixed yourself to the back of him like one of those old reliable saddlebags of his—so you gotta be there too. And, well, you’re really sort of excited about it.

~~~~~~~~~~

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